Monthly Archives: April 2015

My Calamity and Novacaine

If you spend any time in a place where people’s full names are announced over a PA system (such as a college graduation), you’ll find yourself occasionally asking “What were his parents thinking?” If you’re like me, you’ll say it aloud. Immediately after, you’ll hope his parents aren’t sitting right in front of you!

Your first act as a parent – after the conception, that is – is to give your child a name. This is not something to be taken lightly. Your child will carry this label for a lifetime. Even worse, he/she will carry it to middle school! However, it seems that some parents put very little thought into nomenclature. I have seen some bad baby names that should qualify as child abuse.

I’ve met Robin Hood, Holly Wood and Autumn Summers. I don’t know what their parents were thinking, but I do know that Robin legally changed his name as an adult. I can’t say that I blame him. It does make me wonder how much he endured before resorting to changing his name. And why do we make fun of a person’s name when clearly we should be making fun of his parents?

 

Let’s say that you loved your first car so much that you want to name your kid after that ’67 Chevy Nova. If your last name is Cain, you cannot name your child Nova! If your name is Dover, you cannot name your kids Ben and Eileen. I won’t even get into the list of life-ruining names that occur when one combines euphemistic first names like Harry and Peter with last names like Butts and Bush.

If I were allowed only one piece of advice to pass on to an expectant parent, it would be to take just a minute out of your life and say the kid’s name out loud. Listen carefully. Michael Amity and My Calamity sound the same. Don’t name your kid My Calamity.
Secondly, write down their initials. Make sure they don’t spell anything. Monogramming is very trendy right now, but not for the Amy Sue Smiths of the world.

All I’m saying is, love your kids enough to not saddle them with a lifetime of teasing, bullying and having to constantly explain “Yes, that’s my real name.” Not to mention having to deal with immature people who can’t help but laugh out loud every time they hear it.  Not that I know anyone like that.

First Blog Post

Ah! That first blog entry. So much to decide. How do I introduce myself?  What will my blog be about? What will I call it? You’d think that naming it would be the easy part, but you’d be wrong!

First, I had to decide what kind of blog it would be. I’m no expert on anything. So I knew it wouldn’t be a tutorial blog about hair, make-up or performing your own surgery. I won’t be posting recipes, investment advice, political rants or movie reviews. I can’t teach you how to build a campfire to get the most out of your s’mores.

The only thing I’m particularly good at is being myself. Oh, and talking. Talking too much…or so says every report card I ever received in school.

I decided that my blog would simply be my observations about life and trying to find the humor in it. The title seemed obvious…”That’s What She Said.” A quick Google search showed me that many other bloggers had already thought of that. So I made up a word… “Randomology” the study of random thoughts. Guess what? Many other bloggers also made up that word!  My next step was to make a word collage and look for the answer there.

I scrambled the word collage over and over and really liked some of the things that came up, like “Immature Maturity” or “What Thinking Thought.”  Ultimately, I settled on “Finding Funny” for no real reason.

A little about me… I am a grown woman who refers to myself as a girl – my mother and her friends are women, my friends and I are girls. I’m known for sarcasm, a quick wit and my love of words. I’d rather laugh and make people laugh than anything else. I love all kinds of humor from juvenile to sophisticated.

Lastly, the question is… why should you be interested in reading my observations? I have no idea. I once fancied myself as a writer. I spent years writing stories in my head while I exercised, because let’s face it, exercise is mind-numbingly BORING! Eventually, I took one of the stories from my head, put on paper, and let my mother read it. She’s an avid reader and loved it. I decided that since she thought it was good, I’d send it to an agent. Despite my mother’s completely unbiased opinion of my writing skills, it was the general consensus of every agent in America that I suck!

So there you have it, a non-expert, sucky girl writer wants you to read her self-absorbed blog about her observations on life and she hopes you’ll Find it Funny.